Alright, it wore off? Anyway, Uncle Allan gave us the go-ahead on smashing in Redman’s summer home. I forget his name now, but Cole’s boss; that ass couldn’t have talked more if he had 8 faces. Right, so Uncle Allan said he had a friend from abroad who could sell us some magical stuff and he got us a discount! Not only is magical stuff harder to find than a clean rag on Vildeis… Discount!
Long story short, we got some scrolls, potions, a bead that turns into a campfire… I’ve been camping a lot lately it seems. Lamont got some cute slippers but I don’t expect to ever see them again. It’s funny because they’re lavender and he likely doesn’t even know that’s a colour. I think Milah got a ring to keep herself safe and Vesper has a new wand to add to her spoiled-Empire-brat collection. Or whatever they call themselves.
So far so good. So we get to the coast down south, see where the Red Hands are taking boats back and forth to their summer home. So, we’re waiting for night and Lamont manages to stumble into an old sailor’s hideaway. Sorry, I mean fall. He found a hole in the ground and fell into it, but he found a sailor’s cache so kaching! I thought. Boy was I wrong.
Well, Nim, sea and sky god of the Empire used to be 5 people and a boat. Maybe the boat’s in there, the Empire’s weird. Yeah, this was a cache left by them. There was this really strange and magical room with an animated painting of a ship on the ocean, and a crystal that projected the constellations in the region. This region. The door through was blocked by a puzzle tied to a list of names, and we had to pick out the names of the five people who became Nim. So, ‘no’ to the boat being in there.
Well, we don’t know Empire gods so the room said something about learning the hard way, and then there were elementals and I think one was a ghost, but don’t tell the other elementals. So, good news, I learned how to use my brooch of vanishing, the bad news is that I can’t say ‘fuck’ whenever I want to anymore. Oh, and that ghost sapped so much strength from me that I can barely walk. Anyway, we were scattered across the room but gradually mashed our way through the elemental squad and went back to guessing names on the wall. The room changed the rules and threw an invisible pixie thing at us. This asshole, well, I cast a spell to see invisible stuff so he blinded me. FOREVER!
I threw my scroll of Glitterdust onto the ground for Vesper to cast, I guess she did because I don’t think I have it anymore, and they killed that little pixie shit head and Lamont got a sword… I guess. Today can fucking eat me.
~ Transcribed by Sally of ’Sally’s Scribes and Scripts’